Thank you very much.
It's nice to be here
and it's an honor to be hosting the opening show of Saturday Night Live.
Well, one of the reasons any actor wants to host this show
is in order to show different sides of his talent and personality.
And in my case, since most of you probably know me
from the eccentric character I played in Blue Velvet and...
Thank you.
Thanks.
And, of course, Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks.
Well, I was especially anxious for you to see,
you know, what I'm like as a person.
So... And this may seem a little unusual.
I don't know if they've done this before, but I thought I'd open up the floor
to any questions you might have about me.
So. Yeah?
Yeah, where are you from?
Yakima, Washington.
Yeah?
Is your name pronounced "MacLachlan"?
It's "MacLachlan." It's close. It's Scottish.
Yeah?
Yeah, this isn't so much a question about you,
but I'm a big Twin Peaks fan and I was kind of wondering
are we gonna find out this year who killed Laura Palmer?
Yeah. It's Shelly the waitress.
And they're gonna reveal that in the last episode. So...
Any more questions or...?
Okay, well, listen, we have a great show tonight.
Sinead O'Connor is here.
Kyle.
- Kyle? - Yeah?
Kyle, could you come into the control room for a moment?
There's a phone call for you.
Yeah. Okay. Excuse me.
It's David Lynch.
Thank you. All right.
David. Hey, are you watching?
Well, what do you think?
Well, he asked me. What was I supposed to do, lie?
Yeah, I've been in the business for six years, David. You know that.
What good would it be to tell...? It's Shelly, David.
I mean, the episode's been shot. It's Shelly, okay?
I mean, they're gonna find out eventually.
Okay. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
I understand. Okay, I'll try.
I under... All right.
Thanks.
Excuse me, I wanna say one thing.
Earlier, when I made the joke
about Shelly the waitress killing Laura Palmer,
I just wanted to make sure that you all knew that it was a joke.
And, I mean, obviously I wouldn't come out here
and tell you that, you know, it was real and ruin the...
Ruin my chances of being in the second season.
I mean, only a real idiot who never wanted to work in Hollywood would...
And who deserves a real big spanking.
- Would do such a stupid thing like that.
So, anyway, we've got a great show, so stick around. We'll be right back.